Politics is an incredibly cut throat business and the revelations alleging that, whilst at Oxford University, David Cameron put his penis in a dead pig’s head as part of an initiation ceremony when joining the infamous Bullingdon Club, may be the most ruthless piece of political manoeuvring in recent times. The establishment at the head of the Conservative Party and, more specifically, Lord Ashcroft (the former Tory party treasurer and long-time donor, who has written the unauthorised autobiography making this, and various other claims, about Cameron) have thrown the Prime Minister under a bus, a train and truck that transports farmyard animals to an abattoir in order to protect the chancellor, George Osborne, from having to take political flack.
This is all an elaborate smoke and mirrors tactic to distract us from Osbourne’s impending plan to scrap the popular Liberal Democrat policy, from the previous coalition government, of providing free school meals to children. The chancellor is the preferred candidate amongst the Conservative hierarchy to receive the head position in the party, once Cameron steps down as leader, and the party want to reduce the political damage to Osborne as much as possible on these brutal cuts, taking from the mouths of school children, so they have forced this story down our throats. Unfortunately we have swallowed it and we are loving it. Social media is awash with #piggate references and jokes. The DVD sales of Black Mirror must have gone up. We think we are doing damage to the Tory political machine, but we are just pigging out on what they purposely slopped out into our troughs. We are being too pig-headed to see this is masking an ideologically-driven attack on the nation’s children and we are letting Osborne butcher away at will and receive little heat. This is exactly what the Tories want.
In their 2015 manifesto, the Tories promised to protect the popular free school meals, introduced by the Lib Dems in government, however it is another pre-election pledge they are breaking and distractions like this allegation make dodging accountability as easy as stealing acorns from a blind pig for them. This book’s claim is also helping to hide that Osbourne’s chop is to a Liberal Democrat initiative, and the Lib Dems are currently having their party conference in Bournemouth, giving them a platform to highlight what is happening to their free school meals scheme and to restate their case for the good they did when in government and the potentially regrettable things they stopped the Conservatives from doing. The less publicity to this chop and the Lib Dems and the more that the allegations in the book are on our lips, the better for the Conservatives.
‘We will support families by providing free meals to all infants.’
– Conservative Party Manifesto (2015 General Election)
Just look at who serialised the book this morning, revealing the allegations; the Daily Mail. You have lost your head if you would think the Mail would exclusively publish an allegation that would harm the Tory party and, in turn, boost the chances of Labour and the Liberal Democrats. If this was truly what the Conservatives didn’t want, it would be in the Mirror, the Guardian or the Independent. Also the book that makes these accusations is written by Lord Ashcroft who is a powerful figure in the party, having famously bankrolled them for years and, by decapitating it and having his way, he is nailing his colours to Osbourne’s mast. Mr Cameron was expected to pull out of the top slot in the party before the next general election, triggering a leadership election between Osbourne, Boris Johnson, Teresa May and some other figures within the party, however such a molestation of the Prime Minister’s credibility can only increase the possibility of a premature withdrawal from the Prime Minister.
We might find it funny and we might all be as happy as a pig in muck at how much damage the credibility of the Prime Minister has taken with this bizarre allegation and revelling in Cameron-loyalists trying to deflect the mud-slinging and qualify that it’s just part of the student experience, like drinking snakebite, stealing traffic cones and having rubbish hair styles. But what we are actually doing is being led, like pigs to the slaughter, away from the truth of the un-kosher things the Chancellor is doing to primary education as part his ideological driven assault on primary education and to protect his chances of entering the head office of government.
We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be distracted by the hilarity of the allegations and, personally, I find everyone making jokes about what Mr Cameron is alleged to have done very immature. You would never catch me making a pig gag.
Image credits: Crown Copyright.